Corporate dictionary of definitions entry #1

cor·po·rate (kôrprit)
adj.
1. Formed into a corporation; incorporated: the corporate companies of industrial America.
2. Of or relating to a corporation: corporate assets; corporate culture.
3. United or combined into one body; collective: made a corporate effort to finish the job.
4. Of or relating to a corporative government or political system.

This is the standard definition of this term. However, today we will be initiating a series of attempts at reinterpreting the content of definitions widely used and abused in meeting rooms and corridors worldwide.

#1 Corporate
Corporate signifies a certain culture, shared by members of a certain group of officials and middle managers. Corporate is not blue collar. It is most definitely white collar and 'above'. Corporate people dress in a specific way, use a specific vocabulary, have a specific attitude towards their colleagues. These people think outside the box, they touch base across the board, roll things out and in, speak the lingo and move sideways and upwards. We have corporate services, corporate boxes in stadia, corporate hospitality, all operating within a dedicated purpose-driven series of structures, underpinned by policies implemented by them. Blah blah blah... But let's not ignore the elephant in the corner. Corporate really means ambitious and greedy. The merchant bankers who wrecked the economy are corporate. The incompetent administrators who run public services are corporate. Second home owners are corporate. They jump from job to job just as monkeys climb higher in the jungle with a series of sideways and slightly upwards jumps. Corporate people drink champagne and enjoy luxury more than the rest of us.

Of course there are the wannabe corporates out there as well, who have no second home, no corporate box, who fly economy and cannot possibly wreck the economy. But they wear the power suit and are constant pains in the ass. They are largely incompetent.

Synonyms: cunt, asshole, slimey bastard, greedy cunt, ambitious, uncharismatic

Examples: Selling your mum for a handful of dollars is corporate. The police arrested them for offering corporate hospitality. Steve couldn't sit down after his ass was incorporated by his boss. Corporate boxes are common in Amsterdam, but are illegal elsewhere.

We will shortly be analysing more terms. Help to expand the corporate dictionary of definitions.