It's all the same story

It just keeps coming back. Class. I know it never went away. Since Man was able to impose himself on the weaker members of the tribe, we had social hierarchies. Humans invented structures, social, political, religious structures
which served to ensure that social mobility was hard, if not altogether impossible. And of course all of this stemmed from economic reasons: The relationship between the haves and the have-nots was the primary concern of the control mechanisms in societies.

Since the Enlightenment and the Age of Revolution, the fringes of social groups became penetrable (or appeared to do so). Rich peasants became lower middle class. Upper middle class were allowed (although with great contempt) to attain a status which would gradually become comparable to that of the aristocracy. The royal family, with its fascination with bloodlines, has managed to keep apart from this mobility. Their wealth is less pronounced, as if they realised that flaunting it around a-la-1788 could prove detrimental to their health and wealth, as Louis XVI would be able to testify-if he could find his head that is.

The twentieth century with its great 'liberation' supposedly became the great leveller. "Class is dead" we were told. "All are equal". We all vote, have the right to work, live and procreate without restriction. In theory, anyone could move from any class to any class (apart from the royals of course-we will deal with them later). Slogans such as the 'American Dream' and 'rags-to-riches' serve to support the idea that no one is shackled to their predicament of birth, anyone can pursue their dream and achieve it.

Or can they? In a country (and world) obsessed with class, examples of true mobility are few and far between. The system ensures that mobility is restricted, as if it is dictated by a chain around its neck which would only allow it to go that far. The few exceptions (the Alan Sugars of this world) are just that: few. Every turn you take, you are surrounded by class, its limitations and prejudices. The stereotypes, the ridicule. Chavs and poshos, bruisers and cruisers, collective mass insecurity and the massive chip on the shoulder that causes it.

The system of education has a lot to answer for. You can never start to early in grooming your child to succeed in life. Nurseries that teach babies French. OFSTED-set objectives to enable the children to cope with a competitive world. Privileged primary schools that ensure that the sprog gets a decent secondary, a decent uni and a 2.1 at the end of it. Parents' ambitions, the pushiness, the aspirations of moving from a 2-bed terrace house to that semi-detached, from that semi-detached to the farmhouse (attitude which has ruined the house market and made it impossible for the poor to own a house). The understanding that this is a race, get in line, there's a queue for the fucking nursery, get ahead of the other mugs, you deserve better. The ripples of this rotten system are far-reaching.

Whole areas are considered 'bad' because the schools there are 'poor', have 'bad' results. So the poorer members of society gather around these areas, badly looked after by councils, where crime is constantly on the rise. And of course those schools can never become 'good', exactly because they are in these 'bad' areas. A vicious cycle perpetuating itself, condemning whole communities to ignorance. The other end belongs to 'good' schools, where self-respecting parents drop their children off in their SUV's, trying to ensure that their children don't get left behind in humanity's race for a bigger pay packet.

But the mobility that ensues as a result of this activity is limited. If a working-class parent breaks his or her back to send their children to a better school and to uni (and the examples are again few), those children, who come from disadvantaged backgrounds, can never attain the fully bright future reserved for the children of the middle class. If they are studying law, they will be able to finish their degree and get a crappy solicitor's job at a neighbourhood estate agent's, as their fellow graduates will be waltzing their way into top jobs because their parents have the contacts. The system is only ticking the box by letting them in-it's inclusion. Investors in people, they say. Investing in box ticking, says I.

All this is happening underneath the upper classes of course. They don't worry about these things because they go private all the way. The upper middle class is trying hard to break into the lower fringes of the upper class. The upper class, although it can't become royal family, can now buy peer titles and feel aristocratic, in their 'rightful' place on top of the pile upon which the royals shit.

This of course resembles a pyramid. There are fewer people at the top, but because they are so rich and so fat, they need a lot of people underneath them to support them. Wide base, narrower middle, really narrow near the top, one person sitting on it. And interspersed in this are the various lies: religion, nation, football, flags, symbols and heroes, all of which serve to keep the ones at the bottom there. Hm...sounds familiar? Check this out. Things don't change do they?

All of this is summed up in John Lennon's masterpiece, revamped and made more poignant by Samoobluga here. Enjoy.

Who's the immigrant?

After news today that 100 Romanian immigrants were forced out of their homes in Belfast as a result of racist attacks, I believe there is a need to address the issue of racism and xenophobia honestly and go beyond scratching the surface. This attack comes a few days after the BNP claimed two MEP seats and saw its percentages increase considerably, along with UKIP-the other, rather better camouflaged xenophobic right-wing group.


However, we must not fall into the trap of thinking that this is a British phenomenon only. The fall of that excuse for Communism that was the Eastern Bloc meant that millions of people flooded into the economically stronger nations of western Europe in search for a better life. Add to those the millions of Africans and people from the Middle East and you have a population movement of historical proportions. North Africans flocked to Spain, France and Italy, Albanians to Italy and Greece, Iraqis and Kurds everywhere, Kosovo Albanians, Bosnians, Afghanis, Poles, Russians, Ukrainians, Estonians, Latvians, Czechs, Slovaks, Hungarians. Such population movements always cause tensions amongs the people who see themselves as the 'natives' in any space. They see their lifestyles, their culture and, in some cases, livelihood threatened by the influx. This is a social phenomenon observed worldwide and throughout history. Tribal movements caused by drought in Africa caused violent conflict. Search for pasture brought the Scythians, Turks and Mongols to Europe. The examples are numerous.

However, this is not the 1200's and we are not dealing with Kublai Khan's hordes. We are dealing with poor people, coming to these shores to do the dirty work, often underpaid and abused by the system. It is necessary to see their coming as a global phenomenon dictated by global economic conditions. Idiotic, short-term and shortsighted policies against immigration don't work. You can't stop the flood. Besides, the conditions that brought these people are similar to the conditions who brought just about everyone else inhabiting the sunny British Isles. What gives an eighth-generation Irish person living in London more right to exist and earn here than Niculae, the Romanian road sweeper and Nadia the Romanian cleaner? Nothing.

It is indicative of our times that instead of our system, our government and education trying to counter and nullify the social effects of immigration, racism and xenophobia by doing grassroots work, we have one the one hand 'pledges' by cabinet (and shadow) ministers to counter the very phenomenon of population movement. At the same time, the liberal but not-so-interested middle class armchair Left gives a slap on the wrist on whoever is remotely suspected of being racist and xenophobic. As with crime, there is no attempt to limit xenophobia at its roots by attempting to work with peoples understanding and perceptions. Rather, it is a Johnny-come-lately attitude intended to appease those calling for measures. Sincerity has no part in it. And the hypocricy which sees the world embrace 'globalisation' of the economy, where we see no problem buying 'cheap' goods manufactured in sweat shops, but at the same time object to the same workers from those sweat shops working on our 'home' turf. Kettle for £5, good. Chinese worker, bad... The world is in a fluid system where economies are no longer protected by restrictions. This means that money and goods can circulate freely. Why not people then? If you would like a 'pure' Britain, without foreign workers, you must also be prepared to do away with cheap imported goods, because the two are products of the same system. And then we'd see if you could afford a flat-screen TV, a kettle or even a football shirt made by British workers.

On a final note: tolerance. This is a term liberally used to describe British attitudes towards foreigners. However, the term itself hides the seeds of xenophobia, as foreign workers have done absolutely nothing wrong that needs to be tolerated. You tolerate a nuisance, you don't tolerate people. You coexist with people, that's your only choice. You don't tolerate racists and xenophobes.

Ethical Football Now!(?)

The news today that Man Utd have accepted an unprecedented £80m offer from Real Madrid for this man did not come as a shock. Neither did Kaka's £56m transfer to Madrid earlier in the week. A combined fee of £136 million pounds will have been spent to bring two of football's brightest talents to the Spanish capital.


I must question the way football has headed ever since Newcastle Utd paid £15m for Alan Shearer back in 1996. Despite the fact that factories are closing and unemployment is rising, with dangerous social implications (the dangerous swing to the far right for example), the real football factory never seems to relent. It is based on the principle that no matter how poor and deprived, Mick and Josh from the estates will always be able to afford £50 a month for a Sky subscription, which pays the likes of Man Utd and Madrid, who in turn squander such huge amounts of money on pairs of feet. Unfortunately, LDV workers who found themselves out of work this week do not see the macrocosm which includes these deals, the bad deals their bosses made which forced the plant closure and threw them out on the streets.


The working class has shifted to voting for the BNP in a response to the Labour Party's abandonment of the working class. Their world consists of short-sighted hatred of foreign workers, reading the Sun and watching Jade Goody dying live on telly. Why? Because the people whose responsibility it was to keep the working class aware of its social responsibility and its place under the employers' heel have been too busy making the Left a corporate whore, where politics are only a means of self-promotion and acquisition of wealth. The workers' leaders have no voice, no way through to the ears of a supposedly Left government. On top of that, they are peppered on a daily basis by reports of the MPs excesses, their spending habits, their decadence. The tabloids also exagerrate the impact of foreign workers in the UK, sending those who read them into a frenzy.

Christiano Ronaldo's transfer serves to highlight once more the lethargy capitalism has forced the working class into, a complete loss of identity, an utter confusion amidst cheap material possessions. Cheap lager, fake tan, Saturday footy and overpriced nylon football tops. Money is the new, individualistic ideology, and the Christiano Ronaldos of this world are the new Che Guevaras. One only hopes that the deathly shadow of the credit crunch on football won't be long now. It will be a great day when the by-then impoverished former giants of football turn to the state for help, to preserve the 'legacy', 'heritage' and 'history'. Unfortunately, the same corporate bots who bailed out the banks will also try to bail the clubs out, so that the collective sedative that is football does not lose its stranglehold over the masses. Drink your cheap pint, eat your cheap pie. Watch the millionnaires play with your money. Your eyes are heavy, you feel sleepy, the corporation has its hand in your wallet.

Expenses and expendables

The row over MPs' expenses has opened a debate for 'change'. Change in the system, change in its administration. The BBC's reports, showing unrepentant, well-to-do drones explaining why they needed to pay for their daughter's au-pair's hair extensions only serve as further confirmation that the system is in deep rot.
The excuses are ridiculous, and so are the outcomes. Some of them stood down, some paid the money back (or what was leaked to the press in any case) and some announced that they would not be running next time round. What? As if this is enough to absolve them and make everything OK.

Let's take things one at a time. That these MPs have abused the system in order to further their own wealth and accommodate their relatives in 'jobs', despite the fact that they were hundreds of miles away, can only be considered corruption of the highest level. No no no no no no mr and mrs MP, you don't get to pay the money back and apologise blah blah blah. The filth need to come round, clap some handcuffs on your wrists and take you down. Because you need to stand trial for corruption, dereliction of duty and nepotism. In a bygone era, which Emiliano remembers with nostalgia, the charge of high treason would have also been slapped on their foreheads and they'd be shot at dawn.

Secondly, this also raises the issue of 'expenses'. Myself and Mrs Emiliano get up in the morning, get dressed, have breakfast and go to work, sometimes spending hours to get there. Our bosses allow us a lunch break but no food. Then we come back home. We pay for our work clothes, our transport, food and on top of that for baby Emiliano's nursery. Add to that the mortgage and other expenses. If I went to my boss and demanded those expenses to be paid by the company, simply because they were incurred in an effort to get to work and create a surplus for him, not only would I be shown the door sooner than you could say 'MPs' expenses', but I would also probably find a white van waiting outside to take me in.

That these people work for the government does not mean that the taxpayer has to foot the bill for any of their expenses. Many people work for the government, and I could argue that considerably more are more beneficial to society than MPs. Social workers, nurses, teachers, anyone who works in a role which contributes to society is more useful than any MP. MPs pursue a political career out of personal interest. They advance and climb, acquire and own. Very few of them actually contribute anything, because they are so detached from the rest of us.
So, here is the proposal: MPs to be paid a basic salary which means they can afford to live near their workplace. No second homes. If I get a job far from my current location, I will have to rent or buy there out of my own pocket. Becoming an MP is personal choice, not an imposition. So, if the MPs can't afford to rent or buy in London, let the Parliament run a dormitory system, with rooms for MPs and even basic food thrown in (see how generous I can be?). If the only thing MPs gain by being MPs is just the opportunity to engage in debate and decision-making, then that will be their motive, not second homes and luxury lifestyles. And we could do with people motivated by the former.

Prosecute MPs who claimed excessive and unreasonable expenses. Strip all MPs from these perks, just pay a fair salary. Demand that all MPs participate in all parliament discussions. Give them clock cards and expect them to be there, Monday to Friday, 9-5.

Emiliano is back after a short trip to his homeland to oversee the progress of the revolution.

Big Brother is indeed watching you

Boy they kept this quiet. As of Sunday the 5th of April, ISPs will be storing all user data under the EU Data Retention Directive, a controversial law which most civilised European nations chose to ignore or put to their citizens for a vote. Not in the UK. This has been adopted as a measure 'against terrorism', as so many other infringements on privacy and personal data.

Of course we know the rhetoric: the Home Office said it was implementing the directive because it was the government's priority to "protect public safety and national security". The announcement went further by stating that "communications data is the where and when of the communication and plays a vital part in a wide range of criminal investigations and prevention of terrorist attacks, as well as contributing to public safety more generally."

That this will be done indiscriminately across the board does not seem to bother the legislators. So, your ISP will retain all your usage data: all websites you visited, all emails you sent, your email address book, everything you downloaded. Everything will be logged and retained for 1 year in the name of 'security'. Whose security? In the name of counter-terrorism nations have begun to terrorise their own subjects, implementing a series of regulations and laws which seriously compromise privacy and basic freedoms. Make no mistake, we are speedily moving towards a period in history where totalitarianism is a given.

This is another dictatorial policy 'Labour' adopted without questioning. It was also done on the sly, not even featuring on the front page of BBC news. it was rather hidden away in their technology section, despite the fact that the content represents a major concern to all British households, and is not just of interest to those particularly focused on technology. Pages that did make the BBC News front page are Robinho's sex attack, the Home Office's website link to porn, violent crime and car sales. Not even under 'Also in the news', where we are informed that Gavin & Stacey star Matthew Horne is to return to a West End stage. That a significant change in the laws which would impinge upon the public's privacy has just taken place is nowhere to be seen.

And yet there is little or no public outcry. This is no different to having your post delivered opened and resealed, with a stamp stating that it has been checked for security purposes. If that happened there would be an uproar. The fact that surveillance is digital is no less dangerous. In fact, it is considerably more dangerous, since we spend a large part of our lives online; we shop, interact, voice our opinions, view content and read newspapers and blogs online. Our credit card data, our shopping preferences, websites we frequent, people we frequently talk to, blogs we read, newspapers we read, dating websites, porn, sports. All is recorded. And I'm sorry but, I don't trust a state which forgets defence data on trains with all my data.

While the public is being force-fed stories about TV and football stars, terrifying stories of violence and the 'credit crunch', the state is slowly but surely pulling over our eyes the woolen blindfold, its other hand deep in our pocket. Jade Goody's death and funeral, Jacqui Smith's porno expenses, victory over Ukraine: all events that were given prime time coverage. Bread and circuses, just bread and circuses in what is a gradual descent into a situation where authoritarian regimes have complete control of our lives. Control is not just about restrictions. It is also about monitoring your every move. Be awake. Be aware. Be vigilant. Do not take your freedom for granted, even as it's quietly crumbling from under your feet. Because one day you'll switch off the television, after another episode of the X-factor, only to find that you have no voice.

Jacqui oh Jacqui...

The tabloids loved this. So did the Conservatives. I can hear them screaming for Jacqui's head as we speak. So the guy watched some porn and charged the taxpayer for it. Big deal. Him and his señora have surely charged considerably more on things considerably less necessary than a quick wank under the duvet.

This incident serves to highlight a culture prevalent among MPs (no, not wanking-although they're probably at it all the time judging by some of their decisions). I am talking about freeloading. Their sort secretly (and openly) criticise the country's unemployed for being on the dole, but they are guilty of spending and wasting the taxpayers' money on things such as first class flights to places completely irrelevant to their work, second homes and expensive flats in London, cars, chauffeurs, the list is endless. By focusing on this case and Jacqui's porn-viewing husband we serve two things: firstly, we draw attention from bigger expenses and the issue of the squandering of public money, to deal exclusively with why the poor chap was watching porn and why he claimed it as expenses. If anything, he was watching porn because his wife was doing some government work or was working on spinning some bad story or other to make it look good. Secondly, it trivialises the issue of government decisions, especially in relation to expenses.
We are talking about a government that on no valid information whatsoever involved itself in 3 catastrophic wars in 10 years (no, I don't forget Kosovo-will be banging on about it as long as I breathe). Exaggerated reports from Kosovo allowed Tono and his cronies to blow Serbia to smithereens. Government lied, people died. Connecting the Taliban to the attack on the World Trade Center facilitated the attack on Afghanistan in search for Santa Cl...sorry, Osama Bin Laden. Did they find him? Does he even exist? Who knows? Thirdly, they openly lied about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction in order to invade Iraq, destroy it and then help their American buddies 'rebuild' the country (at a price, of course). Government lied, people died. Just ask Dr Kelly's widow. Or maybe better not, in case she suddenly dies 'while jogging' as well.

As many members of the current government voted yes to the above wars, they have war crimes to answer for. Complicity in the events of Abu Ghrayib and Guantanamo, in addition to the bodycount in Kosovo, Iraq and Afghanistan (for all sides involved) is still unaccounted for. These people must answer more serious questions (hopefully naked, forced to kneel all night long while Iraqis piss in their ears) than paying for a pay-per-view porn film.

In light of the above, I think the poor chap was entitled to a wank. We all are. Because what we have experienced in politics, economy and media in the last 15-20 years can only be considered the hardest of hardcore porn films. And we have paid for it. For every bullet, missile and aircraft thrown at it, we coughed up. So a tenner for a wank is nothing in comparison.

Apprentice-schmapprentice

Having to put up with The Apprentice episode 1 this week, I felt I had to say something about it. We all know the format-some hopefuls are battling it out in a mega back-stabbing feast which will end in a few weeks with the sleaziest one of them winning a (short) contract making photocopies for SurAlan Sugar. During this time the teams are given tasks and are expected to make a profit. The team with the lowest profit is considered to have lost the challenge and will have one of its members fired in true gangland-execution style (borrowed from Charlie Brooker) by the chief cahuna himself, surrounded by his cronies.

The show 'makes good TV' because of the public's fascination at the viciousness with which the blades are drawn out and repeatedly sank between 'team-mates' shoulderblades. The producers have cleverly taken the bits of Big Brother which captivated the audience, moments of conflict and behind-the-back slander and hatred, and made a show which only has such moments. The format itself is a contradiction: the candidates are supposed to be working as a team, they are however constantly aware of the need to undermine the team and whoever is managing it in order to advance and win the game. As such, the teams cannot possibly succeed, simply because they are set up to fail. At the end of the day, the viewing public likes a monumental loser, don't they?

The problem, however, is that the people who consider themselves worthy of the post of tea-boy/tea-girl in SurAlan's empire epitomize a certain class of people who stradle that fence between the upper classes and the working class. People in middle-management, often incompetent and ignorant, but ambitious nonetheless. These good-for-nothing ass-lickers are the exact caricature of what has become to this country's production: it has moved from an industrial powerhouse to an economy of middle-managers, people who live in cheap pinstripe suits and who fancy themselves to be successful business people, or corporate bots as was said earlier. It is clear from the tasks SurAlan assigns to these morons that not only could they not successfully run big business and become filthy rich, but they couldn't even run the management of stationery supplies for the local chip shop. It is precisely these idiots that make our lives difficult; they end up working in HR, lower finance, council admin and so on. And they take it out on you and me because they constantly feel that they deserve better than that, they deserve to lick SurAlan's boots. This and this clearly demonstrate the immense stupidity of the people who think they should be at the vanguard of our economy (and at times government).

The only clever people here are the producers, who found a money-spinning formula-one which ridicules its participants and allows the rest of us to temporarily laugh (or cringe in my case) at the beautiful qualities of these idiots (in the words of Zac and Rage Against the Machine): "compromise, conformity, assimilation, submission, ignorance, hypocrisy, brutality, the elite: all of which are american dreams". To sit and laugh at them is to laugh at ourselves and the state we're in. This is not entertainment anymore. This is outright sarcasm by THEM against US. Next time SurAlan and his monkeys are on, press the red button on your remote (not the interactive one, the one that says OFF) and do something useful instead. Read a book. Read Koundera. Read Orwell. Because they'll tell you about YOUR predicament. Bring on the summer of rage.